Bar Mitzvah

Prologue: Sometimes the price is not worth the effort. At times, the expenses involved in attaining certain goals far exceed the benefits. When this happens, the actual goal pales in the reality that is the cost of achieving one's heart's desires.

With that understanding, one could find grave difficulty understanding Hashem's end point to Avraham at the Bris Bein HaBesarim. Avraham was told that his children would be slaves in lands not belonging to them for 400 years. Only following the punishment would they leave the land with great reward. What is the reason that Hakadosh Baruch Hu stressed the great reward to Avraham? It would seem as if the price for the great reward – 400 years of poverty, slavery and suffering - far outweighed the benefit?

Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen Kook (HaGaddas Riya) and Rav Yaakov Moshe Charlop (Mei Marom, V) offer similar explanations for the seemingly extra stress on reward. These Gedolim highlight the notion that one can only begin to appreciate the rewards fully when one realizes the costs of those rewards. When one inherits a great Rechush that he does not work for, he cannot derive the same pleasure that the hard working individual gains when he enjoys his own fortune. By realizing the time and effort that went into the fortune, one could appreciate the full benefit of the fortune. Similarly, Hashem felt that Bnei Yisroel would need to be Avadim for 400 years. There were lessons to be learned from the Avdus (slavery) and Chovos (debts) to be paid. However, once the free moment came, Hashem wanted Bnei Yisroel not only to experience freedom, rather he wanted them to receive that which they truly deserve to experience, the effects of the great wealth which they earned and could then fully appreciate - having the benefit outweigh the cost.

At times, a Simcha is truly experienced only by those who have been able to deal with the hardships that are endured while on the road to that Simcha. Recognizing those hardships helps one make his simcha more complete. This week's Chaburah examines what happens when one's Simcha cannot be complete. It is entitled:

********* Bar Mitzva: Freedom for Whom? *********

The Rema (Orach Chaim 225:2) notes the Minhag that when someone's son becomes a Bar Mitzva, the father recites the Beracha "Baruch She'pitarani Me'onsho Shel Zeh." Similarly, the Midrash notes (Berashis Rabba 63:14) that Rabbi Elazar used to say that until 13, one must be involved with his children. However, following his 13th birthday, the father must recite the Beracha of Baruch She'pitarani.

Two reasons are noted in the Halachic literature for this Beracha: The Mogen Avraham (225:5) explains that the reason for the Beracha is the father's declaration of his new exemption from the Mitzva of Chinuch. Until this point the father had been responsible for the son's transgressions because of the former's obligation to educate him. Now, with Bar Mitzva, the boy takes on responsibility for his own Mitzvos. To that, the father recites Baruch She'pitarani.

The Levush explains the Beracha differently. He understands that until this point, the son has been punished because of the father. Now, the son takes on his own punishment for his own transgressions. Hence, the father recites the Beracha of Baruch She'pitarani because now he is truly Patur (exempt) from causing the son punishment. The Levush cites a Gemara (Shabbos 149b) in support of his position. The Rambam (Teshuva, 6:1) and Yalkut Shimoni (Rus, 400) also weigh in as supporting these two positions concerning the son's punishment for sins until thirteen respectfully.

The Shach (Al Hatorah, Parshas Lech Lecha) notes that a son should make the Beracha Baruch She'pitarani Me'Onsho Shel Abba. However others argue that no Posek held that way and one should not make such a Beracha because as such, he is declaring his father to be a sinner.

All of the above concerns the Beracha at a regular Bar Mitzva with a natural father and son present. However, what does one do when his step-son or adoptive son becomes a Bar Mitzva? Can he recite Baruch She'pitarani?

One immediately is drawn to the words of Chazal (Sanhedrin 19b) that one who raises an orphan in his home is like he birthed him. Based upon the simple understanding of that Gemara, it would appear that one could recite the Beracha for his step-son. The Maharsha seems to include adoption in the category of this Gemara as well. However, we must understand what the phrase "it is as if he birthed him" really means.

Rav Yaakov Emden (She'elos Ya'avetz I, 165) explains that if the child will live as his own and inherit him upon his death, it is as if he were a natural son. We see similar examples in Shas of adoptive parents and children sharing the same relationship as natural parents and children (See Berachos, 62a; Shabbos, 66a; 133a;134a; Eruvin, 59a for a start). Rav Yaakov Emden uses Abaye's experience to teach us that the adoptive parent becomes the source for the child's name to the exception of the natural parents.

The Chasam Sofer (Even HaEzer, 76) allowed one to be called to the Torah by his adoptive father's name. Rav Unterman took the same position in Eretz Yisroel. However, it should be noted that this action creates big problems in terms of writing a Get (or Kesuba) <For further analysis see Reshimos Chaburos al Hil. Ishus MiHaGrid Bleich, 5759 and B’nesivos HaHalacha II>.

Either way, Rav Menashe Klein (Mishneh Halachos 26) feels that the Beracha of Baruch She'pitarani does not apply to the Bar Mitzva boy in this case whether you hold like the Levush or Mogen Avraham. The Pri Megadim (225:20) disagrees noting that since this individual accepted responsibility to educate the boy, he should recite Baruch Shepitarani. According to Rabbi Klein, the adoptive father should not recite the Beracha as it would be a Beracha L'vatala. The Beracha would be regulated to the maternal grandfather based upon the Shach's (Yoreh Deah, 245:1) position that a maternal grandfather also has an obligation to teach his grandchildren Torah. The Pri Megadim would disagree since the only obligation for the Beracha is on the one with the responsibility to teach him and this adoptive father accepted that responsibility.