Upsherin

Prologue: It was the first birthday party mentioned in the Torah. Avraham Aveinu, the proud father threw a huge Seudas Hodaah when Yitzchak finished nursing. Rashi comments that the party took place after Yitzchak was 24 months old. Why did Avraham wait so long to thank Hashem for the birth of Yitzchak? Why the long gap of two years before offering public thanks for Yitzchak's birth?

The Griz explains that Yitzchak's birth to his mother of 90 was one of two miracles associated with his birth. When Sarah had Yitzchak, her ability to nurse was also a great miracle deserving of a Seudas Hodaah. That Nes was not finished until Yitzchak had finished nursing. At that moment in time, Avraham felt he was able to fully thank Hashem for all the miracles he had shown Avraham and Sarah.

The miracle of birth is a special one worthy of Hodaah. People associate many Minhagei Hodaah with the birth of children. This week's Chaburah examines a well-known, poorly understood Minhag of the early years in life. It is entitled:

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Upsherin: cutting the ties that bind?

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The earliest mention of the concept of Upsherin appears in the works of the Radvaz (Shut Haradvaz II:608). There, the Radvaz was asked about what one should do if he took on the Neder to cut his son's hair at the Kever of Shmuel HaNovi and discovered he couldn’t get to the Kever because it had fallen into the hands of the non-Jews. Apparently, in the times of the Radvaz this seemed to be a common practice, that male children received their first haircuts at the Kever of Shmuel Hanovi. The hair was collected and weighed and a parallel amount of money was donated to the upkeep of the Kever based upon the weight of the hair.

The move to the Kever of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai (a common practice in both Chassidic and Sephardic cultures) seems to be based upon the writings of Rav Chaim Vital (Shaar Hakavanos 87a). He notes that before he began learning with the Ari he was informed that the Ari had taken his son to the Kever of Rabban Shimon Bar Yochai and cut his hair before he began learning with the Ari he was informed that the Ari had taken his son to the Kever of Rabban Shimon Bar Yochai and cut his hair there and made a big party. However, it should be noted that his son's age at the time was not specified, nor is it clear that the child was three. These sources only point to a custom to cut hair of young children at the Kevarim of Tzaddikim and to make donations to Tzedaka and some Seudah as a result. (Shut Mishpat Tzedek, 74 notes that the Minhag of cutting hair at a Kever is somewhat suspect and perhaps should be limited to those Kevarim, of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai and Shmuel Hanovi where there is at least precedent for the practice.)

If one examines the Shulchan Aruch and all the Poskim, one will find no mention of the Minhag of Upsherin. The grandson of the Tzemach Tzedek determined (Seder Tefilla L’Maharid) that the story of the son of the Ari must have happened when the boy was three and therefore the Minhag of Upsherin is to cut the boys' hair when they turn three. Some associate the age of three with the age when Avraham first recognized Hashem (See Nitei Gavriel, Tigalachas HaYiladim 1:2). Others find Remazim (hints) in the Possuk "V'hisgalach" which appears in reference to the Mitzora where the Gimmel is raised--accepted to be a reference to the age of three (AteresYishuah Moadim, 33a). Still others (Shut Arugas HaBosem Orach Chaim 210) associate the age with the age of Orlah. When the child turns three he begins to attend the Yeshiva and to study Torah, like the fourth year in the life of a tree, he can now be dedicated to Kodesh.

With all the nice hints and Sodos (Kabbalistic reasons) contained within the Minhag, it has not been prevalent in the Ashkenazic communities. There are no references to it in the Rishonim and none in the Achronim. The Keser Shem Tov noted that in London (where he presided) there was never any known Minhag of Upsherin. Why?

Perhaps one can suggest that in the Ashkenazic culture, the Minhag was too similar to Minhagei Hagoyim. The Mishnayos in Avoda Zara note that one of the biggest days of celebration for the non-Jew is Yom Tichalachto, the day he cuts his braid. In many areas of the world this is associated with the young man’s age of three. Thus, to avoid Chukos Hagoyim, we do not wait to cut the hair of our children and the day of the haircut is not a

day of increased celebration.

L'Halacha, one is not allowed to shave the locks on the side of his face. This is the violation of Baal Tashchis. How and when one chooses to cut the rest of his son’s hair is a matter of Minhag. However, the source for an Upsherin, seems to be better rooted in that it is the beginning of the child's Yeshiva life, a life we hope will be filled with Limud V'Ahavas HaTorah than in mere haircutting.